Wednesday Weisblog: That’s how he rolls

Not exactly the "Mystery Machine," but still cool in its own unique way ... I guess.

Not exactly the "Mystery Machine," but still cool in its own unique way ... I guess.

“I wrecked my bar stool.” These are the words of Kile Wygle, who was arrested March 4 in Newark, OH.

Wygle himself called 911 after crashing his motorized bar stool (more on that in a moment) not far from his home. Isn’t this an awesome machine?!

For your reading enjoyment, here are a few snippets of the police report:

The vehicle was a standard type metal bar stool with round seat. The stool was welded to a small frame that had a five horsepower Briggs and Stratton lawn mower motor attached to the frame. The unit had four wheels, connected to a gear box, which was connected via a chain to the motor. There was a steering wheel from a Craftsman lawn mower, and there were what appeared to be two hand controls.

I stopped for a moment and asked Mr. Wygle how much alcohol he had to drink and he again said, “a lot.” … I asked him what he was drinking and he said beer. I asked him if he thought he had six beers and he said more. I asked him if he thought he had twelve beers and he said, “more like fifteen.”

Seems that Mr. Wygle, 28, did not even consider that he might receive a DUI because he was not driving a car. But the officer pointed out to him that since his bar stool had four wheels and a motor, it could be considered a motor vehicle.

Wygle told police his bar stool could reach speeds of as much as 38 mph, but he was only going about 20 mph at the time of the accident.

He faces charges of DUI and driving with a suspended license. He was treated for minor injuries at the hospital and released – and his mean machine was not impounded.

I am so glad this guy isn’t from Florida … we have enough wingnuts wandering the streets down here, and many of them have been well-documented. Thanks, Ohio!

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