Thursday Weisblog: Whose poo is it, anyway?

A man named Jason has a son who attends kindergarten at Apple Valley Elementary School in Yakima, WA.

Last Thursday, Jason received a call from Ms. Graham, the kindergarten teacher. She informed Jason that her classroom was “stinky,” and wondered if perhaps Jason’s son had created the foul smell.

Because Jason’s son had an accident or two in the past, Jason was prepared. He told Ms. Graham that his son had an extra change of clothes in his backpack for just such an occasion.

Do you think that I’d be blogging about this if that was the end of the story? Of course not! This is where you get the straight poop, so read on! (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Anyway, at this point Jason is thinking, Boy, am I smart to have included a change of clothes in my son’s backpack. Otherwise, there might have been trouble. Phew … glad that’s over with!

That all changed when Jason’s son came home. Almost immediately, Jason realized his boy was still wearing his original clothes and, most interestingly, they were completely clean.

Later, when Jason’s wife opened her son’s backpack, she got a real surprise. A surprise so big, she almost, well, you know …

“She found a clear plastic baggie with a piece of fecal matter wrapped up in some a brown paper towel with the note on it: ‘This little turd was on the floor in my room.’ And that’s all it says,” Jason explained.

Recalling that his son came home completely clean, he continued: “If it was his, did she see him do this? Or did she follow him around to make sure this was his, did she see it drop out? Or just assume it was his because he had an accident a few months ago?”

For what it’s worth, which isn’t (bleep), Ms. Graham is being dealt with by the human resources department at the school, and the school superintendent has been made aware of this mess.

“I’m still kinda in shock over this, because why would somebody do this?” Jason said, trying to put the matter in perspective. “It’s disgusting.”

So just whose poo was it? We may never know the truth. We only know it was the “number two” problem here. The number-one problem is Ms. Graham’s highly questionable behavior.

Memo to Ms. Graham: Five-year-old kids have accidents. If you don’t want to deal with doo-doo, don’t teach kindergarten.

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