Is Tiger out of the Woods? He is with me.

Last Friday, Eldrick “Tiger” Woods, the world’s greatest golfer (and “Player of the Year” in more than one way), made a tearful statement telling the world he was sorry for his numerous indiscretions.

I am not blogging today to judge whether or not he was sincere; I will keep those comments to myself. What I am writing about is simply this: What has this gossip-centered planet come to when he has to apologize to the entire world?

He certainly doesn’t owe me an apology. He didn’t do anything to me.

How about you? Did he do anything to you? Didn’t think so.

He DOES owe an apology to his wife, his family and everyone else who has an important place in his life (but especially his wife). Whether his wife or the others accept his apology is up to them.

If he did the public statement to repair his public image (to get advertising dollars back), that’s one thing. If he did it because he felt he really needed or wanted to, that’s another.

I don’t like the things he did – and the number of times it appears he went astray. I feel genuine sympathy for the pain his wife is going through on a very public stage.

But he doesn’t have to worry about appeasing me with fancy speeches or emotional breakdowns. Mr. Woods owes me zip, zilch, nada … nothing.

Friday Weisblog: With Drew and Peyton ‘Manning’ the QB spots, the Super Bowl will be a ‘Brees’

In my last correspondence, I told you all about what was wrong with this year’s Super Bowl. What’s right with the game deserves equal time, so here goes …

Drew Brees led the NFL in touchdown passes this season. Peyton Manning was the league’s Most Valuable player. It could be rightly argued that each means more to his respective team than any two other players in the entire league – including the elderly #4 in purple.

But the goodness goes beyond that. These are two guys who are genuinely fine, upstanding people. They seem to always do and say the right things – and manage to stay off the rap sheet. What a concept!

Brees signed with the Saints four years ago when he could have gone to teams that were then far more glamorous than the Saints, who had recently suffered the devastation of Hurricane Katrina. He felt it was his calling to play there, and he and the Saints fans have developed a unique love affair for each other. He’s thrown for more than 4,000 yards four years in a row, including a mind-boggling 5,069 in 2008.

Meanwhile, Manning came into the NFL as the the top selection in the 1998 draft – and he has more than lived up to the hype. He’s thrown for more than 4,000 yards 10 of his 12 years, and has NEVER thrown fewer than 26 touchdown passes in any season, including his rookie campaign. The son of Archie Manning, ironically the Saints’ best-ever signal caller until Brees came to town, Peyton may very well go down as the best to ever play the game if he continues on his current pace.

This is a rare year. I will be happy with either team that wins the big game, largely because of their quarterback.

NOTE: Speaking of quarterbacks, kudos to Kurt Warner, who announced his retirement from the Arizona Cardinals today. Another of the league’s true gentleman, his was a true rags-to-riches story. Warner went from bagging groceries to the Arena League to NFL stardom, and he certainly belongs in the Hall of Fame. I think he gets there eventually.

Tuesday Weisblog: She was going pee when her fellow commissioners were going, “Yay,” or “Nay”

OK, so I had to resort to a little bathroom humor. A little juvenile, perhaps. But it actually fits … keep reading.

Wake County, North Carolina is not a big place. They have just seven county commissioners, and one, Democrat Harold Webb, had just suffered a stroke and was forced to step down. The candidate up for replacement was one Tony Gurley, a member of the GOP.

Discussion was spirited and the votes continued to come back 3-3 over and over again … in fact, they voted 13 times that way. At that point, Betty Lou Ward could take it no more and made an unscheduled “pit stop.”

When she returned, there was Gurley sitting in the commissioner’s chair, the result of a 3-2 vote that took place while she was using the facilities.

“Thanks, guys,” she said, tongue-in-cheek, when she returned from her powder room respite and saw him sitting there.

If that’s not strange enough, the commissioners’ next order of business was to elect a vice chairman. This time, the vote came down to a choice of Ward or Commissioner Paul Coble. Again … multiple deadlocks at three. More than five hours later, it still was not settled, and Commissioner Stan Norwalk, a diabetic, made a motion to order sandwiches due to his medical condition. This vote barely passed 4-2!

By 11 p.m. the commissioners voted more than 100 times, each one coming in at 3-3; the Democrats voting for Ward and the Republicans for Coble. Motions to recess or adjourn the meeting were dismissed, and the madness continued.

Finally, at 2 a.m. Commissioner Norwalk again asked for a recess because he hadn’t gotten his insulin shot. Coble then ended the political posturing, proclaiming that he “would not sit here and put Mr. Norwalk at risk.” A new vote ensued and Ward won 5-1, with Gurley being the sole Commissioner voting “no.”

It just goes to show that sometimes in the world of politics, it’s the party whose members have the strongest bladders that win the day.

Note: Thanks to my friend Trace who told me about this rather unusual political gathering.

Thursday Weisblog: A female king working as a secretary? It’s true!

Peggielene Bartels lives in the Silver Spring, Maryland area and drives a 1992 Honda. She works as a secretary in an embassy.

Oh yeah … and she’s also a king. Really.

It turns out that her 90-year-old uncle was the king of Otuam, Ghana. When he passed away recently, the townspeople performed an ancient ritual to decide upon the new king, and it turned out to be Peggielene.

About 15 months ago, she received a phone call at 4 am from Ghana. “Hello, Nana,” the caller said. (The term “Nana” means something similar to VIP here in America.)

Bartels, who has no children of her own, thought it was a joke. “Oh, please don’t play games with me,” Bartels replied, who promptly reminded the caller that because she was a woman, she’d make a better queen. The caller replied that the kingship was the post that was open.

Once she finally decided it was her destiny, she made the trek to Otuam to be installed in her new position. She stayed as long as she could, but returned after 10 days because she still had her secretarial job to do.

For now, she plans to be a “commuting ruler” who spends all her vacation time in Otuam. She sees her retirement coming in about five years – and after that she anticipates moving there full-time and taking over her position.

This is amazing on so many levels. How she was chosen … how she is a female king … how the townspeople are fine with her being there only a few weeks out of the year … and so on. But hey, if it works, more power to her!

NOTE: Thanks to my friend Trace who told me about this interesting story.

Tuesday Weisblog: Her ‘cutting’ comments got her in trouble

Emily Walton is a not only a veterinarian, she’s also a Hancock County, Ohio County Commissioner. Apparently, Ms. Walton has upset one of her community members to the point that he is calling for her resignation.

It all stems from an incident that happened September 3. On that day, Walton and Jeff Davidson were engaging in a somewhat spirited discussion about a community drainage issue. Walton became agitated at Davidson and told him that she “wanted to castrate him and had the tools to do it.”

Bob Barker would be proud. (If you don’t get the joke, it’s not funny enough to explain. Just move on.)

“Sometimes things don’t go your way, and sometimes you have to raise your voice … but you don’t threaten to castrate somebody,” Davidson explained. “If she can’t manage her temper, and manage the words that come out of her mouth, she should resign.”

I tend to agree with him.

For her part, Walton’s explanation was a simple one: “That is a well-known, tongue-in-cheek comment that I have used for years and which people with half a sense of humor understand.” She also mentioned that she once, for comic relief, walked into a former mayor’s office carrying “a big white bag of tools,” though she never specifically mentioned castration.

I take offense to Ms. Walton’s actions for several reasons:
(1) She is a public official who should be acting appropriately.

(2) I am a male. If she had the same “equipment” I do, she may not be quite so liberal with her usage of the “c” word. It makes me wince just to think about it.

(3) If a male had said something off-color to a female, there would be much more made of this story, and I am 99.9% sure the male government official would be forced to resign.

Ms. Walton got her government post running unopposed last election. Something tells me that if she makes it through her term, she’ll have some competition next time around.

Monday Weisblog: It’s funny and pathetic at the same time

Jay Leno

I have always been a bit of a Jay Leno fan. His cartoonish-looking chin and his dry wit amuse me.

His new show starts tomorrow night, and I will certainly tune in – alternating between that show and Monday Night Football.

If you’ve seen any of the commercials for it, Leno does a lot of “man on the street” kind of interviewing, asking random people basic trivia to see what kind of knowledge they possess about current events. Of course, the most outrageous answers make it to the show.

One particular young lady was asked, “Who lives at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?” She was unable to give the correct answer. Leno’s follow-up question was, “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?” She quickly gave the correct answer, “Sponge Bob Square Pants.”

Another person told Leno they didn’t know WHERE the Gettysburg Address was located (as if it was a physical street address).

Still another person was shown a photo of an astronaut and told his last name was “Armstrong.” Leno then asked her what his first name was. “Louie,” she responded.

I’ll watch and laugh at such ignorance, but deep down inside it’s a little frightening. It’s becoming the norm in this country. It’s no wonder the rest of the world is running circles around us academically.